The profound spiritual and emotional pain and turmoil that is caused by relational losses is great and deep-seated. Faith and courage are needed to rebuild life under such circumstances. It is not uncommon, however, that the faith relationship and trust in a loving God also suffers a devastating blow during such traumas. It is incumbent upon the Church community to compassionately address the doubts and sense of loss experienced by adults and children affected.

To this end, the diocese makes available and networks with national and regional sources for:

• Prayers and Bulletin Reflections for parish use;
• Retreats and Dedicated Prayer days;
• Special Liturgies;
• Internship Opportunities in Spirituality and Pastoral Care of Divorced and Separated for Theology Students and Seminarians.

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Relational Loss and the Rest of the Family

Divorce, separation and loss affect more than just the married couple. Children in the family are affected. In-laws on both sides experience the loss too. Neighbors and friends also feel the effects.

Help a family through its losses:

• Let the couple know you still care about both of them.
• Periodically ask the children how they are doing with all the changes.
• Listen well and with compassion.
• Make no judgements about the couple or why the marriage ended.
• Expect to feel sadness and grief.
• Offer respite to the custodial parent on occasion.
• Pray for the entire family.
• Encourage parents to cooperate and raise the children with love and fairness.
• There are no “ex” parents, only “ex” spouses.
• Be kind to those in pain over the trauma of a divorce, separation or other loss.
• Considerately plan activities with backup supports so that the children of single parents are not left out of parish or school events.
• Be careful to phrase prayer intentions and bulletin announcements to include all parishioners, not only families and their children.